Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
