you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
