the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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