just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
A+ Viking dick
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
