Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
