there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
