I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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