How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
