Yo dont text me then not text me
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
