No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
