Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Randomize
