he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We have started to decorate penises.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
