Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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