I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
