im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
