STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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