Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
