I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
