I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
