Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
