Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize