Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
