does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
