Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
