I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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