Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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