Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize