I have demons in me.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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