Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
