i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
