Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
