Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
