lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
