And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize