so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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