New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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