You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize