I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
