i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
