That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize