Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
