umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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