so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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