I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
