are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
PANTIES FOUND
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
