Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She bit a glass in half.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
