More tranny stories later!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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