the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Terrible idea I love it
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
