did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
