yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
