You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
