No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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