how can u be prego again
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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