A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
