in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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