she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
