dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
