You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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