I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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