She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
