I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
from now on my penis is your penis
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
