I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
