So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
