Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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