He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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