He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my shit smells like andre
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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